5 Reasons Why Being Bald in Japan is Awesome
Japan has the highest balding rate in Asia, so why are people so afraid of being bald in Japan?
It’s estimated that just over 25% of Japanese men are experiencing some degree of hair loss at any given moment.
Despite these odds, men in Japan go to incredible lengths to avoid the inevitable.
Wigs, powders, medications, and other products all contribute to a multimillion-dollar Japanese hair loss industry.
If only the men targeted by these corporations knew of the incredible rewards that await those who brave the shave.
Here are 5 reasons why Japan might be the best place to be bald.
1. Glaringly Visible Confidence
In the west, newly bald men are often surprised by the sudden boost in confidence that shaving has given them. For many, what seems like it should be nothing more than a simple haircut, ends up becoming a symbolic reclaiming of control.
To shave one’s balding head is to confront one’s fears head-on. It is the only true way that a balding man is able to fully embrace the fate that life has bestowed upon him.
Ask any American male over the age of 20 how to deal with balding, and they will likely prescribe the following three-step solution.
- Shave your head
- Hit the gym
- Grow some facial hair
In Japan, this way of thinking has not yet reached the mainstream.
In a country notorious for rigid compliance to societal norms, your average salaryman is far more likely to seek out pharmaceutical intervention than he is to reach for the razor.
Take a walk down any Shinjuku street, ride any Tokyo train, and I bet you’ll stumble upon a poster or billboard for men’s hair loss treatments within the first few minutes of looking.
The culture of shame is so bad, that some Japanese men would literally rather paint their heads with obvious camouflaging cosmetics than be proudly bald.
To shave one’s head in Japan is to give a middle finger to all of that.
People will look upon your defiantly shaven head with not only admiration, but respect.
2. All-Weather Form and Function
Japan has disgustingly hot summers.
If you’ve got a head full of carefully arranged wisps, meticulously placed to minimize the exposure of your receded temples – moisture is not your friend.
And the only thing worse than a combover, is a wet combover.
It’s especially undesirable if the moistening agent responsible happens to be sweat.
With a clean shave, you’ll never have to walk into work looking like you took the hair that collected in your shower drain and slapped it on top of your head.
When winter arrives in Tokyo and you realize that the bitter cold hasn’t prevented people from forming those ridiculously long outdoor queues, you’ll be comfortable and cozy in your beanie while you wait an hour for cupcakes, crepes, or whatever novelty deserts your girlfriend wanted.
Which brings me to my next point.
3. Social Rebirth by going Bald in Japan
I am not here to cite alleged data from questionable survey questions like “Would you rather date a guy with [insert affliction here] or a bald guy?”
I also resent the fact that such hypotheticals frame baldness as an ailment and not a gift.
All I am saying is that being uncomfortable in one’s own skin cannot possibly help someone when it comes to putting themselves out there.
Whether it’s dating, finding new friends, or just getting out of the house – you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. It’s a tired expression, but there’s a lot of truth to it.
And if you’re a non-Japanese person living in Japan, you already stick out in ways that you could probably only comprehend if you were Japanese yourself.
As a foreigner, being bald is almost certainly not the strangest thing about you. This is your opportunity to be born again into this new world as whoever you want to be.
Think of your life as a role playing game, and this as your chance to start over and choose all new character attributes.
No more being the cowardly wizard casting spells at the boss from a distance.
You’re a warrior now, and it’s time to start acting like one.
4. Admirable Aesthetics
A bald head is minimalistic, symmetrical, and clean.
The untidy chaos of a gravely thin faux-hawk lacks the dignity and professionalism of a smooth shave. Foolhardy attempts to hide your hairline will only distract your conversation partners, and may even cause them to think about their own insecurities.
Instead, effortlessly navigate social interactions in Japan with the knowledge that your head could not possibly be more presentable.
Hair is a worldly desire, and one you have obviously transcended with tact and grace.
Remember that there is a reason why Japan sometimes associates having a bald head with being a Buddhist monk.
Your perfectly Zen shave is a clear indicator of your spiritual maturity and readiness to focus on the things in life that matter most.
5. Enhanced Mindfulness by Being Bald in Japan
Balding is a physical condition which becomes a mental condition once it begins to impact other aspects of one’s life.
One of the ways in which hair loss can sometimes manifest as a mental health issue, is in the form of intrusive thoughts.
- “are they looking at my combover?”
- “can I afford a hair transplant?”
- “will I ever find a romantic partner again?”
It’s anxieties such as these, which can prevent a person from noticing and appreciating the intrinsic beauty of everyday life in Japan.
An inability to live in the present is a terrible thing, especially when you’re surrounded by the sights and sounds of what many consider to be the most aesthetically pleasing country on Earth.
Imagine missing the cherry blossoms falling on a stream filled with colorful koi fish because you were too worried about futzing with your remaining hair.
Instead, consider your morning shave to be a form of meditation. Use the ritualistic act of shaving to pause and focus on all the things you’re grateful for.
Greet Japan each morning with a clear mind and a clean scalp.
The Bald Truth
While the hair loss industry in Japan continues to prey upon the insecurities (and wallets) of its balding countrymen, a brave few will come to understand that the only true path to enlightenment is through a shaving razor.
Japan might be the best place to be bald, but it’s not about where you are in the world – it’s about the bald man you choose to be.
A confident and content person will be a light upon the world, whether that light is reflected off their bald head or not.
So if you’re enjoying holding on to what you’ve got left – more power to you.
But if you’re tired of fighting nature and the hand that fate has dealt you, there’s a beautiful bald world waiting for you here on the other side.